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The Christian SWAT by alzircon The Christian SWAT by alzircon
I've been working on this for liek 3 days, omai.
The idea spawned after watching several The Atheist Experience vids on YouTube.
So yes, on with the bio:
The Christian SWAT are highly equipped Christians, who usually storm in, when a religious debate gets at hand.

Their primary weapon is their BV-G - the Bible Verse Gun, which is loaded with an actual KJV Bible. Their usual tactic is to appear suddenly and shoot 5 verse rounds per minute. If they get too excited about the 'battle', they start shooting bible verses insanely in random directions.

The Circular Logic Shield - it is their greatest defense and greatest weakness at the same time. You see, it's powered entirely by their own logic: if one realizes why circular logic is fallible - the shield automatically loses its power and they are instantly vulnerable to evidence, which can easily pierce their Faith Vest. If they do not see why circular logic is fail - no amount of reason or evidence an EVER so much as scratch them.

Also, they have their Ignorance Goggles on all the time, just in case.

Some SWAT Christians choose to go only in one direction and power their gun with only one or two books of the bible, Leviticus or Revelations, for example.

Whew, this was fun. If I get the inspiration, I might draw the rest of the bunch, like Civilian Christians & Atheists, The Atheist, The Creationist, The Priest and so on.:lol:

You know, this would actually make a pretty lulzy comic or a game entitled "Holy Wars". I should totally sell that idea to DC comics or EA Games.:dummy:

If you get offended by this, please DO go batshit insane quoting the bible at me, it would give others reason to point at you saying lololol Christian SWAT.:heart:
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:iconlazygirlkay:
lazygirlkay Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2015  New Deviant Student Traditional Artist
This is awesome!
Reply
:iconvikingfox:
VikingFox Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No wonder we keep getting people in suits knocking on our doors... They're CS scouts! 

It all makes sense now.... I'll prepare to resist! Time to load my logic guns with facts, the C.S. might come any minute! :D

Awesome humor! Keep up the great work lol
Reply
:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
That looks like Danny Phantom. 
Reply
:icondeltafox1994:
DELTAfox1994 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
This is funny. But I've met actual Christians who have been actual SWAT officers. Their faith stands up pretty well when they're going in to save lives.
Reply
:iconmrsdiesel:
MrsDiesel Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011  Student General Artist
Awesome! God Bless :)
Reply
:iconsteve1999:
Steve1999 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011
LOL
Reply
:iconel-drago-800:
El-Drago-800 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Creationist Logic - Black is not Green, therefore Evolution is false. :-?
Reply
:iconsatan-is-cool:
Satan-Is-Cool Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
Creationist logic is an oxymoron.
Reply
:iconel-drago-800:
El-Drago-800 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
Indeed.
Reply
:iconnurikosguardian:
Nurikosguardian Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011
oh man, dude.

Someone else who loves watching The Atheist Experience.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I used to, awhile ago, but it's just very repetitive and got boring really fast.:iconsadtardplz:
Reply
:iconalexanderventuri:
AlexanderVenturi Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010
Now this is just bloody brilliant! I love just about everything with this picture, and the fact that these are the usual responses met when in a religious debate make it all the more appealing! I'm guessing you go up against these guys on a regular basis, huh?
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Uh, not really, no. I'm usually just observing.:giggle:
Reply
:iconalexanderventuri:
AlexanderVenturi Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2010
Good observation, still. Pretty damn spot on!
Reply
:iconfirerabbit1987:
firerabbit1987 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010   Photographer
Awesome
Reply
:iconsteelwool:
Steelwool Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Talk about your holy roller :icongrouchomarxplz:
Reply
:iconaarn:
aarn Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2010
Another good day for the clerics.
Doctor who, "Flesh and stone"
Reply
:iconcantatedomino24:
CantateDomino24 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
OH MY GOD!!! LMAO!

I love you so much for drawing this. As a Christian, I know several people like this, and for the longest time i was completely confused because they never gave me a straight answer. Luckliy, I met some rather logical and informative fellow believers, and now I am at peace with my beliefs, as my skeptical side is satisfied :3

Anyways, I love th coloring, and the expression. The shield looks really cool too! I love the effects. And I'll love you even MORE if you draw the atheist one. CHRISTIAN VS ATHEIST...ROUND ONE!
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wish I had the motivation. But thanks.:XD:
Reply
:iconcantatedomino24:
CantateDomino24 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
cans I give you motivation D:?
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure, I take my motivation in USD and Euros.:icontrollfaceplz:
Reply
:iconcantatedomino24:
CantateDomino24 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
-___-

Wah.
Reply
:icondemonhunterjoan:
DemonHunterJoan Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2010  Hobbyist
It depends about which part of Christianity you are talking about. If you want to rage/flame/make shameless fun of Catholics - GO AHEAD. They are raging lunatics.
Well, I am a Catholic, but looking at the latest events - I am ashamed of that. And I wouldn't be surprised if the Church would create that kind of a SWAT team. Terrible thought.

Nice satire is always welcome. Like this one.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've been part of a protestant church. Nuts all over. They actually BAN people from talking to those, who left the church.:iconwatplx:
Reply
:icondemonhunterjoan:
DemonHunterJoan Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2010  Hobbyist
Similar crap happens in Poland. Some crazy douche priest brainwashing old ladies through radio station, the Cross in front of presidential palace (the memorial of the people who died in the plane crash in Smoleńsk)... Whole carousel of fun, let me tell you that.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ugh, some people...:no:
Reply
:iconathousandknives:
athousandknives Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Hahaha, that's actually pretty clever! The lineart and coloring is great =D

Have you considered posting this to some of the atheist groups on DA?
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Not really, no. I tend to distance myself from organized atheism just as much as organized religion.:nod:
Reply
:iconathousandknives:
athousandknives Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010  Student Digital Artist
I see... that's a pretty good idea actually =P
Reply
:iconsnoipa:
Snoipa Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Grenades of Holy water?!
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh no, that would be The Pope.:lol:
Reply
:iconsnoipa:
Snoipa Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh hon hon hon!
Reply
:iconpatoons:
PAToons Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm a Christian and I find this picture to be awesome and HILARIOUS. LOL
Reply
:iconpyratesque:
Pyratesque Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010  Student General Artist
*cracks knuckles and is ready to go
batshit insane* "I would like to quote...
blah blah blah.... jk. xD

I am a Christian but not one of those
people that get stereotyped as what
people call those insane missionaries
who rebuke gay rights and anything
that goes against the Bible. that
bothers me really. -___-;;;

NONETHELESS! I really like the blue
you used. 8D *wants to steal that
colour*

I like the motion in this though looking
at it too long makes my eyes readjust
thinking that they are blurred. but I
digress. ^^

The story is really funny and I agree that
there are certainly Christians like that
out there.

I have an alternate belief in the
conjunction of scientific theory and the
theory of creation so I still ponder
whether I am still considered a full
Christian or not. >.>

I just rather believe in an afterlife than
think I decompose into the ground and
that is the end of it. xD

I like this nevertheless. ^^

vedy vedy entertaining read too.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm still an amateur at satire, but I'm getting there. Thanks, I'm glad you were amused. The character was made mostly from observing internets drama. Some IRL experience too, but not as much. I should srsly draw The Atheist next, I have a pretty good idea of what to parody.:XD:

I never really did stop being Christian because of 'science'. My knowledge rolls down to basic school stuff in that department, yet I'd really like to know more, than I do. It's more of questioning what I believed in the first place. I was raised Christian and left at the age of 20. I realized, that much of what I supposedly believed didn't make much sense to me.
Maybe upon further study of other religions I might find some creed, but that's gonna take awhile. After being part of one religion, I don't think I'd really want join any, but religion in general fascinates me. I'd like to study the huge mainstream ones thoroughly, understand how they came to be - after all, it's what we humans are. Religion is our culture and I was always interested that.:meow:

Also, 'afterlife' is one of the things that held me from leaving for YEARS. I was scared shitless of hellfire. Then I figured, that it sounds more like wishful thinking. "After we die, we get a blissful infinite existence without pain and emotional suffering and all the 'baddies' get PWNED forever."
It is a nice thought, isn't it? :dummy:
Reply
:iconpyratesque:
Pyratesque Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2010  Student General Artist
lol I like when people use my name somehow. (aka eNoggi's real name is Bliss) :meow:

apparently this quote came from Albert Camus? “I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is.” I really like this quote not only because it enforces your choice of belief and the endless pondering of it but it also can be applied to other aspects of life other than God.

LIEK THE TOOF FAERIE~! 8D jk.

but being serious. have been questioning my religion ever since the wonderful days of happiness and ignorance of being a child finally came to a reality that life is not full of sugarcoated joy.

I think that is true, it is a nice thought to have a lovely place to go after living in the Hell that is Earth. lol. but that is what I think. Hell is Earth. I don't wanna go into Bible reference but in a sense, that is my belief. if a goshdarn oh-so-loving God sends people to a place that is more of a Hell than Earth is, that just seems a little too contradictory. but yea. I think nice thoughts are honestly what keep people from getting caught in the realm of lost hope. (how poetic xP)

but I digress. I didn't expect such a tasteful response. (aka intense input) since it was just me and my tangents talking. lol.

I always love civilized talks on the internetz since a lot of times they are so hard to find.

but yea. xD

when I was reading what you put in the comments, I just thought of the Christian SWAT launching a bible in the face of a person and he/she get knocked out and when he/she come to the SWAT says "NOW DO YOU BELIEVE?" >:T

and the person withdraws all scared and says, "I already believe in God" ;n; lol.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You gotta be shittin' me. Bliss? What an awesome name.:lol:
Reply
:iconpyratesque:
Pyratesque Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010  Student General Artist
thanks~! for years, as a child, I didn't know what my name was and wanted to change it but now that I finally found out what it means, I value it more. C:
Reply
:iconlaqua-alta:
LAqua-Alta Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Student General Artist
**is offended**
It's ok. Jesus loves you. :heart:
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
And I'm sure all the other deities love you too.:nod:
Reply
:iconnaur:
Naur Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2010
How did I miss this!?! *notices finger on the nuke inbox button* .......oh yeah, that's right.....maybe I should have looked through those 600 some odd submissions <,<

anyway this is awesome
Reply
:iconanimationfan:
AnimationFan Featured By Owner May 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome sarcasm is awesome. XD I'm Christian, and not offended at all. In fact, I think this is a rather awesome idea! Hilariously sarcastic.

SELL THE IDEA TO DC OR EA.
DO IT.
:iconffffplz:
Reply
:iconzody:
ZoDy Featured By Owner May 9, 2010   General Artist
Y'know what as extreme some people think christian's are I'd rather get my ass kicked by these guys then the cliche' Al Queade type religious quirks :B

Looks like he's working for the Blue Team D: could he be a spy!?
Reply
:iconanimationfan:
AnimationFan Featured By Owner May 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Seconded.
Reply
:iconmagikku-pen:
magikku-pen Featured By Owner May 7, 2010
I'm Christian, but I'm not offended at all. In fact, this is hilarious.
Reply
:iconalzircon:
alzircon Featured By Owner May 7, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Therefore, you are awesome.:dummy:
Reply
:iconzero93:
zero93 Featured By Owner May 6, 2010
this is awesome.Altho it didn't do anything funny I kept giggling.
Probably the title.
Reply
:iconhatton74:
hatton74 Featured By Owner May 5, 2010
Hmn must be the renown Vatican Assassin.
Reply
:icontigerbun:
TigerBun Featured By Owner May 4, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Power of Christ compels you!*shoot the bible, blows away the smoke* Amen.
Reply
:iconelfbiter:
elfbiter Featured By Owner May 3, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm. How about Postmodernist Mime Squad or Transhumanist Conversion Engineers?
Reply
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